Fundraising for Hillary and Other High Crimes and Misdemeanors!

Satire By John W. Lillpop

Idealistic American youth have a long history of joining political causes in order to participate more fully in the democratic process.

Those with more lofty goals get involved to eradicate war, racism, slavery, female genocide, global warming, and conservative talk shows.

Some radical students under the tutelage of Democrats even believe that by simply wiping out conservative radio all horrendous problems facing humanity will automatically and permanently disappear.

As they say, “Together we can change the world,” and some actually believe that leftist pap.

Imagine, then, the disillusionment of young idealists when the truth about an American icon from the far left is exposed to the light of day.

I refer to Hillary Rodham Clinton who, with the passing of Leona Hemsley, has been officially crowned America’s new “Queen of Mean.”

Ms. Clinton brings much to her new role, including a vast right wing conspiracy and a spouse addicted to sex and lying under oath. She also brings her own broom, eliminating the need for chauffeured limousines and other luxuries usually demanded by liberals who rise to power.

Hillary also brings fraud, corruption, and high crimes and misdemeanors. In fact, violation of the public trust has not been this blatant since the administration of William Jefferson Clinton, also known in right wing circles as Hillary’s partner in crime.

In what must be a shared genetic defect with Slick, Hillary apparently has a chronic weakness for bottom feeding crooks with exceptional fraud skills.

Does the name Norman Hsu ring a bell, Hill?

Also known in MOST WANTED! mug shots as the “Whose Hsu” of Democrat political fundraising?

For those with conveniently selective memories like the junior senator from New York, Norman Hsu has spent the past 15 years running from a felony theft conviction.

Still not ringing a bell? See if this jars the memory:

Norman Hsu had the distinct honor of being designated by Hillary’s presidential campaign as a “HillRaiser”- a title given to top donors. Barack Obama also received contributions from Hsu during his 2004 Senate campaign.

APMYWAY: http://apnews.myway.com/article/20070905/D8RFH55O0.html

In terms even Speaker Pelosi should be able to grasp, Norman Hsu is the perfect picture child for the “Culture of Corruption.”

Except, that is, for the fact that Hsu has been a huge benefactor to Democrats, including the woman from Hope, Arkansas that would, if elected, vanquish all hope for a healthy and free America.

Given his Democrat ties, perhaps Hsu’s felony crimes are not nearly so serious after all?

Adios Rudy, Welcome Fred!

By John W. Lillpop

With his latest pronouncement, which holds that illegal immigration is not and should not be a crime, Rudy Giuliani has confirmed his reputation as a big city liberal, too far to the left of Hillary Clinton to be a Democrat, and too much like George W. Bush to be a Republican.

Most distressing is that Giuliani lacks any righteous indignation over the fact that 12-30 million third world illegal aliens have invaded and now occupy large swaths of America.

Giuliani ’s “solution,” as told Glenn Beck, is to secure the borders.

While that is absolutely the number priority, Giuliani has no plan for dealing with illegal aliens already here, except to grant the invaders amnesty and citizenship.

But why even bother securing the borders if the government policy is to do nothing about evil doers here unlawfully?

Glenn Beck: http://www.glennbeck.com/news/09072007.shtml

While Giuliani was doing the Mexican Hat Dance to pander to the illegal alien community, Fred Thompson was standing up for American sovereignty and rule of law.

Said presidential candidate Thompson, “”If we catch illegal immigrants who are here, they need to be deported,” Thompson said. “If they want to get back in the right way, get in line with everybody else.”

ABC News: http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalradar/2007/09/thompson-deport.html

Compared to Giuliani’s double talking drivel, Thompson’s words are sweet music indeed.

However, Thompson needs to beef up his portfolio on this issue by proposing a top-priority law enforcement effort to seek out and deport illegal aliens, rather than waiting to catch the third world scoundrels as they engage in other crimes.

Adios Rudy, Welcome Fred!

Rethinking Islam in Light of Zakaat

Satire By John W. Lillpop

According to Osama bin Laden, there are no taxes in Islam!

There is a Zakaat, which sounds like a flat tax. Again, according to Osama, the Zakaat is 2.5%, which beats 50% all to hell!

Maybe the world’s Numero Uno terrorist is not such a bad fellow after all. Perhaps Islam is not the nemesis that we have been lead to believe.

Without taxes to fret, one could get used to facing east five times a day, with one’s butt pointed straight up in the air, and in solemn prayer to this character named Allah.

Praise Be to Allah, indeed, for the Zakaat– and damn the IRS!

Yes, Islam can be brutal what with beheadings, lopping off of body parts for minor infractions, mandatory mosque attendance every Friday at the time devoted to the spiritual experience called Happy Hour in the civilized world.

But there are mitigating circumstances: There are no stupid 1040s, with Schedules A-Z and hundreds of stupid forms required by a Nazi-like bureaucracy. No withholding taxes to decimate an otherwise respectable pay check.

And Osama even recognizes that Democrats are bungling morons who cannot be trusted with anything important.

In addition, Islam has a provision for multiple wives, which is available in America only to Mormons who tithe. That is 10% on top of taxes!

Feminist Nazis are unheard of in Islam, and women know their place and mind their male masters without argument.

No taxes, multiple wives OK, no feminists, no Democrats.

Say there, OBL, when is the next “Open Enrollment” month for Islam?

Wherever There Are Invading Criminals and Mooches, That Is Mexico!

Satire By John W. Lillpop

How utterly brilliant of Mexican President Felipe Calderon to remind the United States of his major political philosophy for running Mexico.

During his State of the Cesspool address, this deranged leader said, “Wherever there is a Mexican, that is Mexico.”

Hotair: http://hotair.com/archives/2007/09/02/calderon-wherever-there-is-a-mexican-that-is-mexico/

Translated from guttural Spanish into bandito Mexican, Calderon’s real message was: “America’s borders, sovereignty, immigration laws, and rule of law do not apply to Mexicans in the United States, especially those there illegally.”

A more sophisticated, less politically correct, account of Calderon’s retarded words renders the following:

“Wherever there is free education, health care, welfare, food stamps, and housing, there are Mexican free loaders and scam artists waiting to mooch on the backs of U.S. taxpayers!”

Whichever version of Calderon’s mental collapse one chooses to accept, it is clear that this corrupt fascist does not have a clue about how to jar Mexico from it’s decades old siesta in the comfy confines of the third world.

An example of how Calderon’s muddled Mexican mind works, or does not work, can be gleaned from his ambitious “End Poverty in Mexico” program.

Under normal circumstances, one would assume that such a program would include initiatives to improve education, increase productivity, reduce taxes, encourage foreign investments, and high technology measures to strengthen Mexico.

However, Felipe Calderon’s “End Poverty in Mexico” program is nothing more than an “Invade America Kit” which includes:

* Maps showing illegal alien friendly locations throughout Arizona;

* Locations and hours of welfare and food stamp distribution centers;

* Directions to emergency rooms with Spanish speaking physicians who specialize in delivering anchor babies;

* List of emergency rooms where, for the right amount of money, one can purchase a United States birth certificate for a child actually born in Mexico. Caution: Generally available only for Latino children less than eight years old, under 5′3′, and weighing not more than 200 pounds;

* Phone numbers and email addresses for anti-American ACLU lawyers and other civil rights anarchists,

* Retail stores selling Mexican flags and other protest marching gear at discount prices for those with certifiably fraudulent matrícula ID cards, and

* Phone numbers for all branch offices of the Democrat Party. Democrat party operatives will actually arrange for transport to the nearest “Get Out the Vote!” center so that illegal aliens can register immediately.

Americans anxious about Felipe Calderon’s lack of respect for the sovereignty and rule of law in the United States can rest assured that the other prominent president in North America with limited English language skills had this to say about Calderon’s State of the Cesspool warning:

“We are kicking ass in Iraq!”

Thank you, President Bush. And happy sixth anniversary of 9/11 and the concurrent invasion of America by third world peasants!

Ted Kennedy Casts 15,000th Vote: Woe Unto US!

Satire By John W. Lillpop

Over the past 45 years, Senator Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.) has cast 15,000 votes, nearly all of which have been against the interests of the American people.

In retrospect, allowing Osama bin Laden to vote in Kennedy’s place would have resulted in far less damage to America’s democracy, economy, and freedom.

Pity that the Senate does not control voting with the sort of device that prevents intoxicated people from driving. Were such an innovation in place, Kennedy would have recorded less than a dozen votes over that 45-year period, and America would be much safer.

In addition, nearly all liberal legislation would have failed.

15,000 votes fueled by 15 Martinis per vote! That is about right considering Kennedy’s burping -voting record.

And that does not include drinks downed by the senator while driving off a bridge on Chappaquiddick Island in 1969, a disaster that claimed the life of a young woman named Mary Jo Kopechne.

My how values have changed.

In 2007 the nation is burdened with a 62-year old senator who has yet to be “potty trained” and who thinks its cool to plead guilty, resign, then withdraw his resignation and his guilty plea. Small campaign budgets will drive some politicians to the edge just for free publicity.

In 1969, we had a drunken senator who thought it was cool to drown a young lady and avoid justice because his name was Kennedy.

Talk about a culture of corruption!

Still, there are members of the Senate who chose to say kind words about Kennedy to commemorate his 15,000th mistake.

Most of those voting to honor Kennedy have family and friends who are bartenders, drunk tank operators, and colleagues who understand what it means to be a member of the most ravaged minority in America: Drunk millionaires.

That is what being a Kennedy is all about!

Shut Up, Felipe Calderon!

By John W. Lillpop

As the leader of a nation that cannot, or will not, feed, house, educate, or provide health care to it’s citizens, Mexican President Calderon should be devoting all of his time and energy to implementing the economic, social, and political changes needed to reform Mexico.

Reforming Mexico’s corrupt institutions must be achieved if this nation is to have any hope of escaping third world status.

Unfortunately, President Calderon has decided that interfering with the business of the United States is more important than dealing with Mexico’s internal problems. In that respect, Calderon is identical to other recent Mexican leaders who seem incapable of doing much of anything except dumping Mexico’s problems on the U.S. side of the border.

Calderon’s myopic vision and incredible state of denial were made evident when this troubled man said the following on September 2:

“I want to express again an energetic protest at the unilateral measures taken by the U.S. Congress and government which exacerbate the persecution and abusive treatment of undocumented Mexican workers,” Calderon said.

“The Mexican government will continue to insist firmly … on the need for an integral immigration reform and the categorical rejection of the building of a wall on our common border,” Calderon added, confirming the fact that he is clue less when it comes to American sovereignty and rule of law.

Reuters:

Several responses to this madness immediately come to mind:

1. They are not “undocumented Mexican workers,” Mr. President.

Every one of the 12-30 million illegal aliens currently in America is an invading criminal who has seen fit to willfully ignore America’s borders and immigration laws.

They have no legal or moral basis for being here!

2. Yes, the U.S. Congress and government are acting unilaterally to enforce our immigration laws.

Congress and the U.S. government are acting because America is a sovereign nation, and a representative republic. As such our government is required to operate in accordance with the rule of law, even when illegal aliens from Mexico are involved.

The American people do not want illegal aliens from Mexico or any other nation to invade our nation, and we have demanded that our government enforce all existing U.S. laws, including those pertaining to immigration.

It is not necessary, and never will be, for the U.S. government to consult with, or seek consent from, Mexico in order to enforce the law in America.

3. Implementing U.S. laws may indeed result in inconvenience and discomfort for those here illegally.

However, providing convenience and comfort to those here illegally is not the concern of the American people.

American law provides for deportation of illegal aliens in order to protect the interests of those for whom U.S. Immigration laws are intended to protect: Namely, American citizens and those here legally

Deporting Mexicans here illegally does not constitute “abuse” or “persecution.”

4. As to Mexico firmly insisting on “integral immigration reform” and “categorical rejection of the building of a wall” on the U.S. Mexico border, Mexico has no basis for insisting on anything, firmly or otherwise.

In simple English, Mr. Calderon, we do not give a dam what you or any of the other so-called leaders in the Mexican government have to say.

American issues are the sole responsibility and authority of the United States and it’s government.

5. If the Mexican government has any real concerns for the welfare of Mexican illegal aliens in America, then President Calderon should take immediate steps to prevent Mexican citizens from invading America.

President Calderon should also work with the U.S. to arrange for expeditious deportation of invading criminals back to mother Mexico where the Mexican government can assume it’s rightful responsibility.

Finally, let the word go out to President Calderon and the rest of those leading the Mexican government:

The days when Mexico could simply dump her problems on the U.S. side of the border are over! Gone, kaput!

For a change, let the state of Mexico, and not U.S. taxpayers, take responsibility for Mexican citizens.

Period!