President Ponders Pardons — For Illegal Aliens!

The latest wacky news in the ongoing war against illegal aliens has two border patrol “soldiers” headed for prison because they had the audacity to enforce U.S. immigration laws.

This unbelievable miscarriage of justice has raised the ire of some in the U.S. House of Representatives. Twelve members of that deliberative body have written President Bush to request pardons for Cardo Jose Alonso Compean (sentenced to 12 years in prison) and Ignacio Ramos (sentenced to 11 years and one day).

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Although the intentions of the representatives are good and honorable, one shudders at the possibilities that might ensue once their letter lands on the president’s desk in the Oval Office.

Remember, our president is dyslexic, which means that sometimes he zigs when he should zag.

Therefore nobody should be too surprised if the president signs an executive order to deport border patrol agents Cardo Jose Alonso Compean and Ignacio Ramos to Mexico, while at the same time approving a blanket pardon for the 20 million illegal aliens here in America.

All of which proves a basic truth about George W. Bush: Never misunderestimate his cunning ability to develop strategeries that will aid and abet illegal aliens. Hispanically speaking, that is just how our 43rd president is wired!

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

Why America Needs President Hillary Clinton in 2008

With the possible exception of blaspheming the Holy Ghost, the most egregious sin a conservative can commit is to knowingly express anything positive about the junior senator from New York, Ms. Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Or to be more precise and less politically correct, Mrs. William Jefferson Clinton.

However, egregious sin is actually my favorite pastime. So herewith, is an endorsement of the unlovable Lady Clinton.

Mind you, I descend into Satan’s domain with eyes wide open, knowing that my license to practice hate-mongering in the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy may be irreversibly revoked. El Rushbo, Michael Savage, and Sean Hannity will no longer accept my collect calls. But, alas, the pilgrim’s path in never easy.

Let’s face it, troops. George W. Bush is not Ronald Reagan, or nor even George H. Bush for that matter.

A man claiming to be conservative has duped us. He is a president who has presided over an unprecedented expansion of government and federal spending. Who has cavorted with the devil–AKA Teddy Kennedy–in No Child Left Behind; who speaks Spanish, but seems completely incapable of coherent English. Who is unable to spell veto–in English or Spanish!

How can it possibly get worse?

In fact, assuming Republicans retain control of Congress, President Hillary Clinton could be a dramatic improvement.

You say what, Mr. Lillwhatever Pop?

For starters, conservatives would be emancipated from supporting a Republican-President-in-Name-Only (RPINO) who clearly regards fiscal responsibility and other basic conservative solutions as old hat, and not in vogue.

Secondly, those wonderful conservative instincts that have served America so very well in the past would return to the GOP with a flourish if there were a President Hillary Clinton to battle with.

Please consider the following: How would a Republican Congress deal with a new entitlement program costing ten trillion dollars, if proposed by President Hillary Clinton?

Would a GOP Congress allow the national debt to grow wildly out of control, to the detriment of untold numbers of future generations, if a liberal Democrat was president?

What if Madam President refused to secure our borders in time of war, and had the gall to propose amnesty for 20 million illegal aliens? Or what if she remained silent while the Mexican military escorted drug smugglers across the border into America?

What if President Hillary Clinton proposed to sell management of U.S. port security to an Arab nation with known links to terrorists?

Such situations emanating from a Hillary Clinton administration would rally Republicans to take immediate action, concerning themselves only with doing that which is in the best interests of the American people.

For those who may have lost sight of a simple truth, doing what is best for America means sticking to conservative values.

There would be other advantages as well: President Hillary Clinton and Slick Willy might bring back some of that taxpayer-owned china and other booty pinched from the White House in late January, 2001. Said booty would once again be on property owned by We the People, until at least 2012 or 2016. That would be a good thing.

And with Slick Willie free to run wild in the Oval Office and adjoining back room again, there would surely be three or four sex scandals a year to investigate, providing unlimited blogging material for those of us who blog to the right of center.

Slick might even use all that sophisticated domestic spying apparatus at the White House to eavesdrop on lonely bimbos in Arkansas or Pakistan. He might even persuade Lady Clinton to do likewise, creating a perfect impeachable scenario for Republicans to adjudicate.

That would mean even more great blogging material for us right-wing nutcases.

All of which is why, as of this moment, I am convinced that a vote for Hillary is the most patriotic thing one can do in 2008!

satireisfun

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

Greater Threat to Democracy: Voter Fraud or Intimidation?

Tan Nguyen is running for the U.S. House in California’s 47th Congressional District. He is running as a Republican in opposition to the incumbent, Democrat Loretta Sanchez.

The novice Republican apparently made a mistake by sending a letter, or causing his campaign to send a letter, to Hispanics warning that those in America illegally or immigrants could be jailed or deported for voting.

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Nguyen’s letter would have been perfectly fine had it mentioned only illegal aliens. Unfortunately, the letter lumped illegal aliens and immigrants together and appeared to warn Hispanics of the severe consequences of “voting while Brown.”

Mind you, Nguyen is justified in being very concerned about votes being cast by illegal aliens. In 1996, former Congressman Bob Dornan lost his seat to Loretta Sanchez by just 984 votes. Dornan alleged that his loss was due to votes cast by Hispanic illegal aliens.

Nguyen has paid a heavy price for his ill-begotten campaign letter. The FBI raided his headquarters and California Republican leaders asked him to abandon his campaign. Both Governor Arnold Schwarzennegger and challenger Phil Angelides denounced the letter as a “hate crime.”

All in all, not a good campaign strategery for the immigrant from Viet Nam.

However, one does not need to go back too far in history to find an equally bone-headed mistake involving Hispanics and voting in California. In fact, just this past summer, Democrat candidate Francine Busby advised an audience of Spanish speakers that “You don’t need papers for voting, you don’t need to be a registered voter to help.”

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While Busby’s remarks got wide media attention, the FBI was not called in and Democrat leadership did not desert the Mensa-adverse Busby. The mainstream media did not go into integrity shock.

Overall, the liberal reaction was guarded hypocrisy.

Why the difference, one wonders, between the treatment afforded Nguyen and Busby?

One involves possible intimidation, the other possible voter fraud. Both are reprehensible and serious threats to American democracy and must be weeded out of our electoral process.

And both should be firmly denounced by all media sources and by all politicians, liberal and conservative alike!

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

Can America Survive a Pelosi Political Plundering?

Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) has embarked on an ambitious agenda for “Cleaning the U.S. House” once she assumes control. There is, of course, the unfinished business of the November 7 elections to consider, but Congresswoman Pelosi regards the election itself to be a minor detail, unworthy of undue distraction.

To Americans still on the fence about the election, please think about the likely agenda that Pelosi would pursue:

* Impeachment of George W. Bush:

Pelosi and her supporters are all but guaranteed to impeach the president if elected. Pelosi is likely to make “swearing at George W. Bush” her first item of business after the obligatory “swearing in” of the new congress.

* Withdrawal of Troops From Iraq:

Once President Bush has been dealt with, Pelosi will move for the immediate withdrawal of all U.S. forces from Iraq. She will ask that the 150,000 troops in Iraq be placed on “stand by” for assignment to Haiti or other location where there is absolutely no legitimate American interest at stake.

Congresswoman Pelosi will also ask that American military force be available to seize any Wal-Mart store that refuses to cover 100% of employee health care costs, or to pay a minimum wage of $25 an hour.

* Tax as You Go:

To any liberal worth his or her weight in “Impeach George Bush!” bumper stickers, nothing is more distressing than a tax cut involving the return of money to those who actually paid taxes.

Mind you, Democrats see nothing morally or economically wrong with passing out tax refunds to illegal immigrants, the homeless, or others who paid no taxes to begin with.

Should the Democrats prevail next month, look for Nancy Pelosi to try to reverse the Bush tax cuts and push her mindless “pay as you go” scheme—which is really tax as you go!

* Apology for “Ugly American” Behavior:

Democrats would like nothing better than to issue a blanket apology to the world for America’s wrongheaded policies while Republicans controlled the White House and or either chamber of the Congress.

Such a declaration would specifically apologize to all Muslims, Hugo Chavez, Fidel Castro, Kim Jong Il, leaders of the former USSR, and assorted other nice guys for the boorish, America first, behavior of Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, and both U.S. presidents answering to the moniker George Bush.

* Forgiveness of Terrorists:

If Speaker Pelosi were to have her way, the United States would issue a formal statement of forgiveness to Osama bin Laden and the original 19 hijackers of 9/11 notoriety. The Pelosi statement would declare that, all things considered, America probably deserved 9/11.

The statement would include a thank-you message to bin Laden for delaying the World Trade Center attack until Bill Clinton was safely out of office, thereby allowing Democrats to blame George W. Bush for 9/11. Pelosi would also make it a federal “hate crime” to draw derisive cartoons, speak in a disparaging manner, or otherwise offend Islam, the prophet, Allah, the Koran, or Osama bin Laden.

* Free Pilot Training:

In the name of acceptance and to demonstrate that real Americans do not hold grudges, Ms. Pelosi would propose to provide free training and licenses to young Middle-Eastern men from terrorist-sponsoring nations who speak Arabic and who have always dreamed of flying jumbo jets. This program would not cover plane landings.

* America’s New Manifest Destiny:

In an attempt to chart a bold and exciting new direction to American history, Pelosi would propose a revised “Manifest Destiny” for the 21st century. Pelosi’s plan would entitle impoverished Latinos to enter the United States for whatever purpose, and at the time, date, and location of the migrants’ choosing.

In addition, anyone able to speak Spanish would be granted immediate U.S. citizenship, including voting rights, with no further qualification required. Pelosi would establish an “Open Borders” policy at our southern border, and makes it a federal “hate crime” to speak English when addressing illegal aliens with Hispanic surnames.

* Land Grants to Illegal Aliens:

This program would guarantee 160 acres of free land to each Latino family moving illegally to America.

Under the provisions of a new “Eminent domain” statute, the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) would be authorized to seize property owned by Caucasian Christians registered as Republicans, and to immediately Quit Claim deed such property to illegal aliens.

* Transgender Surgeries:

Sharing her liberal philosophy and experience as a San Francisco resident with the rest of the nation, Pelosi would insist on a federal program to subsidize transgender surgeries for anyone without the means to pay for this essential health service.

The program would cover up to three back and forth surgeries per person. After that, the matter would have to be resolved between the transgender and his/her/her/his/her/his (or whatever) God.

* Jimmy Carter International Airport:

Given the opportunity, Democrats would rename the Ronald Reagan International Airport the Jimmy Carter International Airport to commemorate the enormous contributions made the 39th U.S. president.

Pelosi would praise Carter for his “kinder, gentler” foreign policy, including his adroit handling of the Iranian crisis in 1978. She would ignore the fact that, without President Carter, there would be no Islamic terrorist threat in the world today.

* Cosmetic Convenience Center on Capitol Hill:

Yielding ever so slightly to her own personal vanity, Speaker Pelosi would work for the creation of a cosmetic convenience center on Capitol Hill. Pelosi’s personal, full-time plastic surgeon would be housed in the convenience center.

This effort could easily develop into a nasty partisan battle because it would convert office space currently occupied by Republican lawmakers into tanning booths, botox operating rooms, and crisis “help” lines for transgender folks just out of surgery.

Although Pelosi’s more radical notions are still being drafted, this list should provide a red flag for any American who really cares about the future of our great nation!

John Lillpop is a recovering liberal, “clean and sober” since 1992 when last he voted for a Democrat. Pray for John: He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where people like Nancy Pelosi are considered reasonable!

John W. Lillpop

San Jose, California

Anybody See a Dyslexic Cowboy With ''I Luv Vicente!'' Tattooed on His Back?

Back in the olden days, America had a president who genuinely cared about defending the U.S. Constitution, our borders, and We the People. Oh, for the good old days of Ronald Reagan!

In 2006, America has an alleged president who seems more interested in solving Mexico’s economic problems than defending America.

Even after the events of 9/11, our president thinks it OK to send 150,000 US troops 8,000 miles from home to defend the borders of extremists who would like nothing better than to see Washington, D.C. reduced to a blue glow, courtesy of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran.

At the same time as he frets and spends to protect Iraq’s borders, President Bush blindly ignores the millions who cross our own borders illegally. Does he realize that Osama bin Laden et al are likley to infiltrate America through Mexico, not Iraq?

Why has this president forsaken America in her greatest hour of need? What’s with this frantic campaign to save Mexico by destroyng America?

A clue emerges: After his visit to Mexico a few weeks back, Bush was reportedly sporting a large tatoo on back that reads: “I Luv Vicente!”

Every mindful of PC protocol, the president even used Green, Red and White–Mexico’s flag colors–for his etchings.

How in the world did We the People elect a Spanish-speaking, dyslexic cowboy from Texas to the most powerful job on earth?

Back in the olden days, America had a president who genuinely cared about defending the U.S. Constitution, our borders, and We the People. Oh, for the good old days of Ronald Reagan!

In 2006, America has an alleged president who seems more interested in solving Mexico’s economic problems than defending America.

Even after the events of 9/11, our president thinks it OK to send 150,000 US troops 8,000 miles from home to defend the borders of extremists who would like nothing better than to see Washington, D.C. reduced to a blue glow, courtesy of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran.

At the same time as he frets and spends to protect Iraq’s borders, President Bush blindly ignores the millions who cross our own borders illegally. Does he realize that Osama bin Laden et al are likley to infiltrate America through Mexico, not Iraq?

Why has this president forsaken America in her greatest hour of need? What’s with this frantic campaign to save Mexico by destroyng America?

A clue emerges: After his visit to Mexico a few weeks back, Bush was reportedly sporting a large tatoo on back that reads: “I Luv Vicente!”

Every mindful of PC protocol, the president even used Green, Red and White — Mexico’s flag colors — for his etchings.

How in the world did We the People elect a Spanish-speaking, dyslexic cowboy from Texas to the most powerful job on earth?

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

Anybody See a Dyslexic Cowboy With "I Luv Vicente!" Tattooed on His Back?

Back in the olden days, America had a president who genuinely cared about defending the U.S. Constitution, our borders, and We the People. Oh, for the good old days of Ronald Reagan!

In 2006, America has an alleged president who seems more interested in solving Mexico’s economic problems than defending America.

Even after the events of 9/11, our president thinks it OK to send 150,000 US troops 8,000 miles from home to defend the borders of extremists who would like nothing better than to see Washington, D.C. reduced to a blue glow, courtesy of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran.

At the same time as he frets and spends to protect Iraq’s borders, President Bush blindly ignores the millions who cross our own borders illegally. Does he realize that Osama bin Laden et al are likley to infiltrate America through Mexico, not Iraq?

Why has this president forsaken America in her greatest hour of need? What’s with this frantic campaign to save Mexico by destroyng America?

A clue emerges: After his visit to Mexico a few weeks back, Bush was reportedly sporting a large tatoo on back that reads: “I Luv Vicente!”

Every mindful of PC protocol, the president even used Green, Red and White–Mexico’s flag colors–for his etchings.

How in the world did We the People elect a Spanish-speaking, dyslexic cowboy from Texas to the most powerful job on earth?

Back in the olden days, America had a president who genuinely cared about defending the U.S. Constitution, our borders, and We the People. Oh, for the good old days of Ronald Reagan!

In 2006, America has an alleged president who seems more interested in solving Mexico’s economic problems than defending America.

Even after the events of 9/11, our president thinks it OK to send 150,000 US troops 8,000 miles from home to defend the borders of extremists who would like nothing better than to see Washington, D.C. reduced to a blue glow, courtesy of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran.

At the same time as he frets and spends to protect Iraq’s borders, President Bush blindly ignores the millions who cross our own borders illegally. Does he realize that Osama bin Laden et al are likley to infiltrate America through Mexico, not Iraq?

Why has this president forsaken America in her greatest hour of need? What’s with this frantic campaign to save Mexico by destroyng America?

A clue emerges: After his visit to Mexico a few weeks back, Bush was reportedly sporting a large tatoo on back that reads: “I Luv Vicente!”

Every mindful of PC protocol, the president even used Green, Red and White — Mexico’s flag colors — for his etchings.

How in the world did We the People elect a Spanish-speaking, dyslexic cowboy from Texas to the most powerful job on earth?

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

Common Sense Ruling: Photo ID Upheld by Supreme Court!

In a further showing that common sense is finally catching up with those who would turn America over to Mexico and its illegal aliens, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that Arizona voters must show Photo IDs before voting.

The ruling upheld a portion of Proposition 200 passed by Arizona voters in 2004 and overturned a ruling by the notorious 9th circuit.

Full story Go here:

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

Which Will Fall First — Baghdad or Washington, D.C.?

These are perilous times, to say the least. America’s war on terror in Iraq is not going well, and even President Bush has admitted that it could end up like Vietnam.

Our way of life and freedoms are under attack from sworn enemies like Osama bin Laden, Kim Jong Il, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and Hugo Chavez.

Although the lunatic in charge of North Korea is reportedly “sorry” for his nuclear test theatrics, one suspects that the madman’s repentance is due solely to severe arm twisting by his Chinese sponsors. Just the day previous, Il was warning the world that more nuclear tests were in the offing.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad continues to threaten Israel, his latest declaration being that Israel cannot survive. This particular nutcase remains adamant that Iran will pursue nuclear enrichment — for peaceful generation of electricity only, of course.

To make matters even less cheery, the Shiite militia run by anti-American cleric Muqtada al-Sadr seized total control of the southern Iraqi city of Amarah. Go here:

But the worse news about the war on terror comes from our own shores. Liberals like John Kerry, John Murtha, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Howard Dean and other liberals continue to provide comfort to the enemy by attacking our troops, the war effort itself, and of course President Bush.

With recent polls showing the Democrats in a position to do real damage during the November 7 elections, a reasonable question might be:

Which city will fall into enemy hands first — Baghdad or Washington, D.C.?

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

California City Outlaws Renting to Outlaws!

Common sense is making a comeback in cities all across the United States as Americans are finally fighting back against the invasion of our sovereign nation by illegal aliens!

Enough is enough! people are saying to the flood of foreigners that threatens America’s homeland security, cultural, and economic stability.

As the story below indicates, Escondido California is the latest to join the fray on the side of America. City leaders in Escondido have approved an ordinance prohibiting landlords from renting to illegal immigrants, the latest in one of many efforts by local governments across the country to crack down on illegal aliens.

Read the entire story here:

Praise be to those politicians and leaders with the moral courage to do that which is right in spite of being vilified by those who do hate America!

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

Forget About Trans Fats: Liberalism Far More Lethal!

A note to liberal nutcases all across our wonderful land: If you really give a dang about the health and safety of the American public, give up your mindless attempt to control Trans fats.

Instead of wasting taxpayer money and time with “Nanny State” interference into matters that are the responsibility of the individual, get real by forsaking those liberal ideas and laws that ruin health and destroy lives.

A partial “to do” list follows

• Repeal all gun control laws that leave the innocent defenseless against armed criminals.
• Repeal all abortion rights laws that sanction the murder of innocent fetus-beings.
• Drop all arguments against the death penalty. Such arguments provide needless comfort to brutal killers.
• Cease and desist in efforts to prevent the Bush administration from taking steps necessary to prevent terrorists from an encore of 9/11.
• Stop obstructing oil exploration, refinery construction, and nuclear power. In order to be free from foreign oil, America needs common sense in our domestic energy policies.
• Get off the illegal alien bandwagon and fight instead for the rights of American citizens against interlopers who come only to steal public services.
• Support local police and all law enforcement authorities in their thankless efforts against thugs that steal, rape, and murder.
• Let the people retain more of their own hard earned money. Taxes stifle growth and foster dependence on government.

As it stands, liberalism in government is more of a threat to the heath and safety of the American people than Trans fats, tobacco, cholesterol, and chocolate combined!

End liberalism and save lives!

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California