Tough Measures DO Reverse Illegal Immigration!

Despite all the weak-kneed politicians and open borders activists who insist that illegal immigration can not be stopped, the small town of Hazletown, Pennsylvania is proving that tough anti-illegal alien laws DO work.

As recounted in the story linked below, the tough new laws in Hazletown have not only halted the growth of the illegal alien demographic there, but have even started a large-scale self-deportation by the criminals!

Go here for the story titled Hispanics Flee Pa. Town Before Crackdown

There is still hope for America, provided we still have leaders with the intelligence and courage to do the right thing for the American people!

Are you listening, President Bush and the U.S. Congress?

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

Addicted to Addictions?

Life in America used to be so much simpler and less stressful.

For instance, back in the “Good Old Days,” Uncle George always drank too much at family holiday gatherings. But back then, Uncle George’s lack of self-control was recognized as the issue. He was the problem, and it would have been unthinkable to call him a victim.

Things are vastly different in 2006.

These days, addictions and recovery programs for dealing with them, are a huge industry. They earn scores of billions of dollars for enterprising “counselors” who will tell you that it is not your fault that you weigh 520 pounds, chain-smoke Pall Mall unfiltered cigarettes, use cocaine and heroine on an hourly basis, and have rarely drawn a sober breath since you were nine years old.

None of that is your fault!

Nearly every human frailty can be traced to an addiction. People claim debilitating addictions to:

• Tobacco
• Too much sex
• Too little sex
• Love
• Alcohol
• Illicit drugs
• Too much work
• Too little work
• Prescription medicines
• Food
• The Internet
• Shopping
• News
• Politics
• And on and on and on

In fact, it has gotten so weird that I am thinking of opening a new treatment clinic. It shall be called the Recovery Program for overcoming Addiction to Addictions.

After 30 days and $70,000, I guarantee you will be free from the compulsion to find another addiction in your life.

My program works — mostly because after I finish with you, there will not be enough money left in your bank account to buy another respectable victimization.

The latest addiction in our society is to cell phones. People drive while talking on their cell phones, while shopping at the supermarket, while at the theater, while at the library, while at the opera, while talking on a land phone, and in just about every other situation.

I even saw a man talking on a cell phone while otherwise engaged at a public urinal! Who would have imagined that “nature’s call” could have such a literal meaning?

A friend recently confided to me that he had spent hours and hours talking on a cell phone in an attempt to win the heart of the woman he was hopelessly in love with. Unfortunately, the fellow not only lost his love, but his cell phone provider billed him $2,400 for one month of calls — a stark reminder that, these days, talk is anything but cheap!

Which reminds me — I think I will add a Cell Phone Recovery Wing to my treatment center. Call me on my cell at ######## to get well in time for the holidays!

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

Lynn Cheney: 2008 Presidential Candidate?

Lynn Cheney, wife of Vice President Dick Cheney, endeared herself to conservatives recently by nailing CNN’s Wolf Blitzer to the wall.

Appearing on Blitzer’s Situation Room, Mrs. Cheney asserted that CNN specials on the 2006 elections contained “terrible distortions of the president’s and vice president’s positions on many issues.”

Cheney showed that she knows exactly how to deal with the liberal media when she asked Blitzer “what is CNN doing running tapes of terrorists shooting Americans,” more than once.  Her sharpest question “Do you want us to win?” echoed the sentiments of conservatives everywhere who are fed up with the bias and anti-American pap served up by CNN and other liberal media outlets.

Go here:

The larger question begging to be answered as a result of Cheney’s spectacular performance: Has she tossed her hat into the ring as a possible candidate for the Republican nomination for president in 2008?

History could be in the making if Mrs. and Mr. Cheney become running mates for the top jobs at the White House in 2008.  She could be the first woman to serve as U.S. president, and the Cheney-Cheney tandem would be another first in American history.

Liberals might argue that the Clinton-Clinton team set precedent, but Lady Clinton was not elected vice president by the people.  She was gifted with that role by Slick Willie who was desperate to find a way to keep her occupied while he harassed female subordinates in the Oval Office.

Adding to her appeal, Lynn Cheney has all the qualities needed to serve as America’s CEO.

Specifically, she is:

• A woman with executive-level skills and abilities
• Highly intelligent and articulate
• Knowledgeable on domestic and foreign
• Conservative

However, Lynn Cheney’s greatest asset is something she is not:   Namely, Mrs. Cheney is not Hillary Clinton!

That alone could earn her tens of millions of votes from Americans unwilling to turn this great nation over to the most divisive personality in contemporary politics.

Run, Lynn, run!

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

A Woman's Place Is in the Home — Not the House!

Among the more catchy slogans to date in the 2006 campaign is Nancy Pelosi’s assertion that “Perhaps it will take a woman to clean the house.”

With those words, the bug-eyed Democratic minority leader from San Francisco let it be known that she has her permanently dilated eyes focused on becoming the next Speaker of the House.

Make no mistake, Pelosi was not offering to scrub and wax the floors on Capitol Hill or to do the windows, even though she seems more suited for that line of work than controlling the speaker’s gavel.

Pelosi unveiled her play on words back in early spring as part of her “Culture of Corruption ” campaign designed to lead Democrats back to the land of milk and honey, also known as majority status in the House.

When Pelosi first introduced her strategy, Republicans like Tom DeLay, Randy “Duke” Cunningham, and Jack Abramoff were making negative headlines nearly every day.  Calling Republicans the party of corruption did not seem that far-fetched or overly partisan.

Back then, one could reasonably conclude that Democrats deserved a chance to clean up the People’s House, which had become sullied by all those corrupt and corruptible Republicans.

Toss in the fact that the rehabilitated House would be lead by an aggressive woman, and you have a perfect setup for Nancy Pelosi’s ascent to the “A” team in Washington power politics.

But then a funny thing — several funny things, actually — happened to derail the Pelosi grand strategy. The crimes and peccadilloes of Democrats began to make the news: Slugging Capitol police, driving under the influence of drugs and or alcohol, accepting $100,000 in bribes on video, and hiding 90% of the bribe stash in home freezers.

The final straw came when Democrat Francine Busby, running to replace the incarcerated Cunningham, encouraged illegal immigrants to vote, and did so in front of a camera.

There was a “Culture of Corruption” all right, but its members were not just the lily-white, country-club Republicans Pelosi wanted so desperately to expose.

Instead, politicians with the letter D next to their names were turning Pelosi’s “Culture of Corruption” into something quite different from what she had planned—and not at all to her liking.

All of which proves that, at least in Pelosi’s case, a woman’s place is in the home — but not the House!

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

A Woman’s Place Is in the Home — Not the House!

Among the more catchy slogans to date in the 2006 campaign is Nancy Pelosi’s assertion that “Perhaps it will take a woman to clean the house.”

With those words, the bug-eyed Democratic minority leader from San Francisco let it be known that she has her permanently dilated eyes focused on becoming the next Speaker of the House.

Make no mistake, Pelosi was not offering to scrub and wax the floors on Capitol Hill or to do the windows, even though she seems more suited for that line of work than controlling the speaker’s gavel.

Pelosi unveiled her play on words back in early spring as part of her “Culture of Corruption ” campaign designed to lead Democrats back to the land of milk and honey, also known as majority status in the House.

When Pelosi first introduced her strategy, Republicans like Tom DeLay, Randy “Duke” Cunningham, and Jack Abramoff were making negative headlines nearly every day.  Calling Republicans the party of corruption did not seem that far-fetched or overly partisan.

Back then, one could reasonably conclude that Democrats deserved a chance to clean up the People’s House, which had become sullied by all those corrupt and corruptible Republicans.

Toss in the fact that the rehabilitated House would be lead by an aggressive woman, and you have a perfect setup for Nancy Pelosi’s ascent to the “A” team in Washington power politics.

But then a funny thing — several funny things, actually — happened to derail the Pelosi grand strategy. The crimes and peccadilloes of Democrats began to make the news: Slugging Capitol police, driving under the influence of drugs and or alcohol, accepting $100,000 in bribes on video, and hiding 90% of the bribe stash in home freezers.

The final straw came when Democrat Francine Busby, running to replace the incarcerated Cunningham, encouraged illegal immigrants to vote, and did so in front of a camera.

There was a “Culture of Corruption” all right, but its members were not just the lily-white, country-club Republicans Pelosi wanted so desperately to expose.

Instead, politicians with the letter D next to their names were turning Pelosi’s “Culture of Corruption” into something quite different from what she had planned—and not at all to her liking.

All of which proves that, at least in Pelosi’s case, a woman’s place is in the home — but not the House!

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

Statement by Abu Musab Zarqawi from Islamic Heaven

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Brothers and Heirs to the Throne of Heaven,

Praise Be to Allah!

After my arrival here in June, I kissed the clouds and thanked Allah for deliverance from the infidel devils lead by that dyslexic Christian cowboy from Texas, G.W. Bush.

I prayed that, Allah willing, Bush would be forced to spend eternity with Nancy Pelosi in San Francisco, a situation otherwise known as hell.

Praise Be to Allah!

We know that Allah would never punish even the most awful infidel so brutally. So I faced west and, Allah forgive me, prayed to the infidel’s God.

God willing, Bush and Ms. Pelosi will be manacled together forever in San Francisco’s Castro District. Bush will suffer greatly, God willing, at the hands of tens of thousands of young men unable to marry because of Bush the homophobe infidel.

Praise Be to Allah!

Brothers, all is good in Islamic Heaven, save one detail.

Each of the 72 virgins that greeted me is the spitting image of Helen Thomas, a fiction writer who works in Washington D.C., Capitol City of the infidels.

Pray for me, brothers: These women are virgins, but not by choice.

This is not what I expected as my reward for being blown to smithereens.

Praise Be to Allah!

Allah willing, your prayers will deliver unto me 72 middle-eastern Muslim women, ages 15- 21, lean but not mean, beautiful and still virgins by choice.

Allah speed brothers! Without seductive virgins, this gig sucks!

Praise Be to Allah!

Your Comrade in Death,
Musab Zarqawi

satireisfun

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

Another "Embarrassment" for Moron Vicente Fox!

Mexican President Vicente Fox announced Saturday he was sending federal security forces into the violence-wracked southern state capital of Oaxaca after a U.S. journalist and two Mexican men were killed by gunfire.

Go here:

Mind you, this is the same moron who called the U.S. border fence an “embarrassment” to America!

Vicente Fox should stop trying to run America and focus instead on preventing Mexicans from killing Americans!

Oh, and by the way, has anyone heard from our president—G.W. Bush—about the murder of an American in 3rd-world Mexico? Bush is the president that should be sending troops—American troops—into Oaxaca!

Or is Bush too damn busy pushing amnesty for 20 million illegal aliens to bother himself with the homicide of an American in Mexico?

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

Life Before Birth

In 1973, the U.S. Supreme Court sanctioned abortion on demand. In so doing, the justices became party to a human rights violation of monumental proportions.

Since 1973, approximately 40 million human lives have been exterminated through abortion in the United States. That is nearly seven times the number of Jews who perished at the hands of Adolph Hitler, and roughly equal to the number of victims slaughtered by Joseph Stalin.

However, unlike those murdered by Hitler and Stalin, the 40 million fetuses killed in America had no political, social, or religious enemies. Rather, they were innocent human lives waiting to experience the blessings of birth.

Those who believe that abortion should be an inalienable right refuse to accept an indisputable fact: A fetus is human life before birth

That says it all. Call that fetus what you wish, the fact remains that it is human life. Albeit, the fetus is a life without power, voting rights, free speech or any other protection afforded the born. However, it is a human life, nevertheless.

In addition, human life, in all forms, is a precious gift from God regardless of how inconvenient the pregnancy may be. Abortion, then, is a deliberate, premeditated destruction of one of God’s greatest blessings.

Abortion is a superseding of divine will by mortal will. Those who do so shall be held accountable at a final, and eternal, judgment.

Which is why, even in cases involving the most despicable subhuman killers, our society affords layer-upon-layer of legal review and appeal before using execution as the ultimate punishment.

Unfortunately, while some liberals fight to the bitter end to save the pathetic life of a thug convicted of multiple murders, there is no mercy or fight in them for the unborn–those with life before birth.

May good and righteousness ultimately prevail in the hearts of the American people, and replace a mindset that tolerates abortion on demand with one that celebrates “Life before Birth.”

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

Tan Nguyen Was Right!

In the midst of all the controversy surrounding Tan Nguyen and his famous letter to Hispanics, how many people actually read the “offending” letter? My guess is darn few.

The letter in question has been translated into English and is reproduced below.

Dear ———-,

You are receiving this letter because you have recently registered to vote. If you are a U.S. Citizen, I urge you to participate in the democratic process of voting.

Be advised that if your residence in the United States is illegal or if you are an emigrant, voting in a federal election is a crime that can result in incarceration, and possible deportation for voting without the right to do so.

In the same way, be advised that the U.S. government is installing a new computerized system to verify names of all the newly registered voters who participate in the elections in October and November. Organizations against immigration will be able to request information from this new computerized system.

Not like in Mexico, here there is no benefit to voting. In the United States there is no registration card to vote. Therefore, it is useless and dangerous to vote in any election if you are not a citizen of the United States.

Do not pay attention to a politician who may try to tell you otherwise. They only care about their own interests. They just want to win elections and it doesn’t matter to them what happens to you.

Sincerely,

Sergio Ramirez

[PDF]

After reviewing the letter itself, it is clear that Nguyen’s staff is simply reminding citizens to vote and non-citizens not to vote. What is wrong with that, for heaven’s sake?

Rather than harrassing Tan Nguyen for doing the right thing, the more appropriate action would be to ask Loretta Sanchez why she has not send a letter like this to the Hispanic community herself!

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

San Francisco All Agog Over Obama

Barak Obama visited the San Francisco Bay Area on Wednesday to promote his new book, and to do a “dry run” for his expected run for the White House in 2008.

The reaction to Obama was predictable given the fact that he is a liberal’s liberal. And as everyone knows, San Francisco once applied for membership in the former USSR, but was rejected by Moscow because The City was just too dang liberal.

In San Rafael, which is just north of San Francisco, 1,200 destitute victims of the “jobless Bush economy” paid $125 each to hear the senator say in 10 minutes what should have taken no longer than 10 seconds. Those same folks then added to their self-inflicted misery by standing in a long line to shake Obama’s hand, and to get the senator to sign a copy of his new book “The Audacity of Hope.”

By charging $125 to speak for 10 minutes, Obama’s going rate is $750 per hour. Now that is audacious!

As one would expect, the local media was all agog over this man from Illinois who is shaping up as the morphed version of Jesus Christ, John Kennedy, and Martin Luther King.

For example, this from the San Francisco Chronicle: “The cameras almost never stopped clicking and flashing. Obama, who is lean, strikingly handsome and easy with his incandescent smile, joked that he’d have to ice his arm down after the book signings.”

Go here:

Just to show that Obama is also a man of considerable substance, the Chronicle threw in this quote from the “Great Black Hope” of the Democrat Party:

“When the American people pay attention, good things happen,” he said in his short speech. “Our instincts are good.” Obama said people were tired of the “slash and burn” style of politics of recent years and are searching for “common values and common ideals.” The country, he said, “is in a serious mood.”

Obviously, being “lean, strikingly handsome and easy with (an) incandescent smile” is not enough. Obama is clearly intent on making his mark as an intellectual giant as well.

The only downside to the day occurred when some San Francisco natives demanded their $125 back. As it turns out, several hundred liberals misunderstood the promotion ads and had gathered to worship “Osama,” as in bin Laden.

Still, Obama did an honorable job of filling in for Osama. In fact, many liberals who could hear, but not see, the speaker did not even notice the difference.

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California