What Is Your "Liberal Quotient" on Gas Prices?

In the throes of the Great Gasoline Crisis of 2006, many irate citizens are blaming President Bush and the Republicans for it all, vowing to install Democrat majorities in both chambers of congress as a result of elections this November.

Trust me, fellow Americans, electing liberal Democrats to deal with the gasoline crisis makes about as much sense as hiring Vicente Fox to run U.S. border patrol. Or having Bill Clinton as your spokesman for marital fidelity.

It would just not be prudent!

To prove that hypothesis, this scientific test has been designed to measure ones “Liberal Quotient” — the opposite of intelligence quotient– on the issue of gasoline prices.

The test:

1. Soaring gasoline prices are the direct result of:

( ) A vast right-wing conspiracy to stop poor people of color from driving to the polls

( ) Republican greed and Bush lies about WMD

( ) Manipulation of supplies by “Big Oil” & Bush to drive the price per gallon up to $5

( ) President Bush’s domestic surveillance and torture programs

---

2. Drilling for new oil reserves is

( ) Prohibited by the U.S. Constitution

( ) A grave danger to Alaskan wildlife & ticket sales for Al Gore’s “An Inconvenient Truth”

( ) Sure to irritate Iran’s president and other Islamic business leaders that Bush should be working with, rather than against.

( ) Unnecessary if automobiles are outlawed

---

3. Adding additional refining capacity would:

( ) Increase demand, causing more global warming. Not cool!

( ) Be more immoral than post-birth abortions

( ) Be OK if built in blue states by brown illegal aliens

( ) Not OK because the land is urgently needed for new DNC headquarters

---

4. The best idea for dealing with the high cost of gasoline is to:

( ) Ignore it. Americans drive too much as it is

( ) Ignore it because higher prices will drive Bush’s poll numbers down

( ) Raise gasoline taxes $2.50 per gallon to reduce demand

( ) Cut off supplies to Red states

( ) Require each Mexican illegal alien to smuggle in five gallons of gas per month as a condition of the Bush amnesty

---

5. SUVs and Large Automobiles are:

( ) anti-American. Anyone owning one should be arrested & charged with treason

( ) OK if operated by union labor working to elect Democrats

( ) Evil and should be confiscated, melted down, and recast into “Elect Hillary” campaign buttons–printed in Spanish

What did I tell you? You can not trust liberals to do the right thing when political gain can be achieved by waging a partisan food fight.

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

What Is Your "Liberal Quotient" on Gas Prices?

In the throes of the Great Gasoline Crisis of 2006, many irate citizens are blaming President Bush and the Republicans for it all, vowing to install Democrat majorities in both chambers of congress as a result of elections this November.

Trust me, fellow Americans, electing liberal Democrats to deal with the gasoline crisis makes about as much sense as hiring Vicente Fox to run U.S. border patrol. Or having Bill Clinton as your spokesman for marital fidelity.

It would just not be prudent!

To prove that hypothesis, this scientific test has been designed to measure ones “Liberal Quotient” — the opposite of intelligence quotient– on the issue of gasoline prices.

The test:

1. Soaring gasoline prices are the direct result of:

( ) A vast right-wing conspiracy to stop poor people of color from driving to the polls

( ) Republican greed and Bush lies about WMD

( ) Manipulation of supplies by “Big Oil” & Bush to drive the price per gallon up to $5

( ) President Bush’s domestic surveillance and torture programs

---

2. Drilling for new oil reserves is

( ) Prohibited by the U.S. Constitution

( ) A grave danger to Alaskan wildlife & ticket sales for Al Gore’s “An Inconvenient Truth”

( ) Sure to irritate Iran’s president and other Islamic business leaders that Bush should be working with, rather than against.

( ) Unnecessary if automobiles are outlawed

---

3. Adding additional refining capacity would:

( ) Increase demand, causing more global warming. Not cool!

( ) Be more immoral than post-birth abortions

( ) Be OK if built in blue states by brown illegal aliens

( ) Not OK because the land is urgently needed for new DNC headquarters

---

4. The best idea for dealing with the high cost of gasoline is to:

( ) Ignore it. Americans drive too much as it is

( ) Ignore it because higher prices will drive Bush’s poll numbers down

( ) Raise gasoline taxes $2.50 per gallon to reduce demand

( ) Cut off supplies to Red states

( ) Require each Mexican illegal alien to smuggle in five gallons of gas per month as a condition of the Bush amnesty

---

5. SUVs and Large Automobiles are:

( ) anti-American. Anyone owning one should be arrested & charged with treason

( ) OK if operated by union labor working to elect Democrats

( ) Evil and should be confiscated, melted down, and recast into “Elect Hillary” campaign buttons–printed in Spanish

What did I tell you? You can not trust liberals to do the right thing when political gain can be achieved by waging a partisan food fight.

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

What Is Your "Liberal Quotient" on Gas Prices?

In the throes of the Great Gasoline Crisis of 2006, many irate citizens are blaming President Bush and the Republicans for it all, vowing to install Democrat majorities in both chambers of congress as a result of elections this November.

Trust me, fellow Americans, electing liberal Democrats to deal with the gasoline crisis makes about as much sense as hiring Vicente Fox to run U.S. border patrol. Or having Bill Clinton as your spokesman for marital fidelity.

It would just not be prudent!

To prove that hypothesis, this scientific test has been designed to measure ones “Liberal Quotient” — the opposite of intelligence quotient– on the issue of gasoline prices.

The test:

1. Soaring gasoline prices are the direct result of:

( ) A vast right-wing conspiracy to stop poor people of color from driving to the polls

( ) Republican greed and Bush lies about WMD

( ) Manipulation of supplies by “Big Oil” & Bush to drive the price per gallon up to $5

( ) President Bush’s domestic surveillance and torture programs

---

2. Drilling for new oil reserves is

( ) Prohibited by the U.S. Constitution

( ) A grave danger to Alaskan wildlife & ticket sales for Al Gore’s “An Inconvenient Truth”

( ) Sure to irritate Iran’s president and other Islamic business leaders that Bush should be working with, rather than against.

( ) Unnecessary if automobiles are outlawed

---

3. Adding additional refining capacity would:

( ) Increase demand, causing more global warming. Not cool!

( ) Be more immoral than post-birth abortions

( ) Be OK if built in blue states by brown illegal aliens

( ) Not OK because the land is urgently needed for new DNC headquarters

---

4. The best idea for dealing with the high cost of gasoline is to:

( ) Ignore it. Americans drive too much as it is

( ) Ignore it because higher prices will drive Bush’s poll numbers down

( ) Raise gasoline taxes $2.50 per gallon to reduce demand

( ) Cut off supplies to Red states

( ) Require each Mexican illegal alien to smuggle in five gallons of gas per month as a condition of the Bush amnesty

---

5. SUVs and Large Automobiles are:

( ) anti-American. Anyone owning one should be arrested & charged with treason

( ) OK if operated by union labor working to elect Democrats

( ) Evil and should be confiscated, melted down, and recast into “Elect Hillary” campaign buttons–printed in Spanish

What did I tell you? You can not trust liberals to do the right thing when political gain can be achieved by waging a partisan food fight.

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

Imagine There Were No Liberals: I Wonder if You Can?

Imagine a day without liberals. Some of the more positive results such a day would produce include:

• Anti-America attorneys, especially those working for the ACLU, would not exist.
• Without liberal lawyers & judges working against victims and on behalf of the guilty, executions of convicted killers would proceed according to law.
• Personal responsibility and “Just Say No!” would replace murder–AKA abortion–as an acceptable means for dealing with unwanted pregnancies.
• Welfare, food stamps, and similar social services would be provided only to citizens and only to citizens without family and unable to care for themselves.
• Federal, state and local spending, and taxes would be immediately reduced.
• A terrorist “Bill of Rights”–unthinkable!
• Children would be taught history and the three Rs in public schools. High school graduates would actually be able to read diplomas, but would be woefully lacking in condom-on-cucumber skills.
• School prayer, the Ten Commandments, and other religious expressions would once again permitted in public, as intended by our founding fathers.
• San Francisco would once again be recognized as a respectable major American city.
• ‘Press 1 for English’ would no longer be an infuriating hindrance to routine communications.
• Affirmative action, racial/gender preferences, and other government-mandated discrimination programs would be terminated.
• “Gay” marriage would be used to describe a “keenly alive and exuberant” relationship between one man and one woman.
• ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, New York Times, Washington Post, LA Times, and other media outlets of the Democrat party out of business!
• Illegal aliens would no longer be recruited as voters.
• With no liberal media and politicians to bait, right-wing bloggers would cease to exist.

All of the above results, excepting the last one, would heal and unite America like never before!

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

Why Is it "Impossible" to Deport Illegal Aliens, Mr. President?

Conventional wisdom has it that our “conservative” president is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Indeed, G.W. Bush is the object of constant ridicule, mostly from liberal media and embittered Democrats still unable to accept the fact that Bush is a two-term winner.

Of course, demeaning Bush is the only option available to liberals. And it does provide a way to vent their frustrations at being unable to defeat the dyslexic cowboy from Texas whom they love to call “idiot.”

Democrats who insult G. W. Bush’s intelligence need to be careful. In other words, Howard Dean, how good are your candidates and ideas if an “idiot” can subdue them not once, but twice?

Obviously, G. W. Bush is not an idiot, or even just average. He earned an MBA from a prestigious university, and has achieved heights that the overwhelming majority of people can only wistfully dream of.

President Bush is a capable world leader who deserves the respect of people all over the globe, especially those who call themselves Americans.

Having said that, it is difficult to understand President Bush’s thought process when it comes to illegal immigration. Most distressing is Bush’s assertion that deportation of millions of illegal aliens is “impossible.”

How in the world can it be “impossible” for the most powerful and technologically-advanced nation in the world to remove criminals who have invaded our nation at time of war?

Surely the greatest hope for the civilized world in the global “war on terror” is not helpless when it comes to criminals inside its own borders? Some of who are most likely terrorists?

If America really is that impotent, Osama bin Laden and other Islamofascists will see that as great news, and a source of inspiration for continuing their brutal assaults on the civilized world.

Moreover, if America is unable, or unwilling, to control who enters and who stays here, victory for terrorism and world domination by Islamic extremists are all but assured.

Is that really the message you wish to convey to the world, Mr. President?

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California

Why Is it “Impossible” to Deport Illegal Aliens, Mr. President?

Conventional wisdom has it that our “conservative” president is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Indeed, G.W. Bush is the object of constant ridicule, mostly from liberal media and embittered Democrats still unable to accept the fact that Bush is a two-term winner.

Of course, demeaning Bush is the only option available to liberals. And it does provide a way to vent their frustrations at being unable to defeat the dyslexic cowboy from Texas whom they love to call “idiot.”

Democrats who insult G. W. Bush’s intelligence need to be careful. In other words, Howard Dean, how good are your candidates and ideas if an “idiot” can subdue them not once, but twice?

Obviously, G. W. Bush is not an idiot, or even just average. He earned an MBA from a prestigious university, and has achieved heights that the overwhelming majority of people can only wistfully dream of.

President Bush is a capable world leader who deserves the respect of people all over the globe, especially those who call themselves Americans.

Having said that, it is difficult to understand President Bush’s thought process when it comes to illegal immigration. Most distressing is Bush’s assertion that deportation of millions of illegal aliens is “impossible.”

How in the world can it be “impossible” for the most powerful and technologically-advanced nation in the world to remove criminals who have invaded our nation at time of war?

Surely the greatest hope for the civilized world in the global “war on terror” is not helpless when it comes to criminals inside its own borders? Some of who are most likely terrorists?

If America really is that impotent, Osama bin Laden and other Islamofascists will see that as great news, and a source of inspiration for continuing their brutal assaults on the civilized world.

Moreover, if America is unable, or unwilling, to control who enters and who stays here, victory for terrorism and world domination by Islamic extremists are all but assured.

Is that really the message you wish to convey to the world, Mr. President?

John W. Lillpop
San Jose, California